You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
