Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
someone owes me an orgasm
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
