she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
