Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
