Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
the raccoons are back...
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