I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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