direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize