How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
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I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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