Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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