You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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