no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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