Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
