A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
