i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The struggles of a small town man whore
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
