How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
try to milk me bitch
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