thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
