I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
