Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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