she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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