If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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