Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
