I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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