I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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