Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
