i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
