Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
