We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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