Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
plz talk dirty to me
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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