Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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