i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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