We're like a lot better than the average bears
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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