I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
