remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The air taste purple.
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