I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
