I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
