At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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