2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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