I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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