Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
