Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
