You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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