o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
