I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
