He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
