I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i believe in u and ur pee
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
