She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
