Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.