get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize