Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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