his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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