New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
