I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
