Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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