that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
