I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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