haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
