is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
