thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
