who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
