why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
