I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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