i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
