Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
