i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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