Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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