I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
